For me, it was a quiet moment driving down a canyon road in one of the most beautiful places on earth, the Feather River Canyon in Northern California. It was after a long blackout drinking weekend in which I had managed to piss everyone I knew off, again. I was baffled, that was the beginning.

I learned that in order to change any part of myself and my life, I must first “own it” – you can’t change what you don’t own. Imperfections, mistakes and shortcomings are part of the human condition. This is why we apologize, we pay fines and restitution when necessary, we excuse ourselves, we make amends, we self-correct and then we try our best to do better and not repeat our mistakes. This is humility, this is healthy, this is human.

One of the guiding principles of the many 12 step programs is “Progress Not Perfection”. This is a vital concept to recovery for several reasons and when you employ it you will immediately benefit from the change of focus. Perfection is a false standard. I’m not “perfect”, You’re not “perfect”, life is rarely “perfect” and…